Thirty Eight

Today is my birthday. I didn’t know exactly where I wanted to be by this age, but I think I would be hard-pressed to ask for anything more. Last night, as I was washing the dishes, I found myself reflecting on where things are for me right now, and I was comforted by the feeling of stability. There’s nothing in my professional life that’s concerning, and my family life is moving along as I’d hope it would. We’re still dealing with various (minor)illnesses for Sophia, but I’m very aware that this is simply the normal flow of things at her age.

That age is about to increment soon. We’re just a few weeks away from Sophia’s first birthday. I realised this morning that my birthday will now be forever linked with hers. They’re close enough that I can imagine there will always be a bit of focus on her too, helping to balance things out.

My older brother’s birthday is two weeks before mine, so throughout our childhood we would each get one small gift on the other’s birthday. This was a genius move from my Mum to help alleviate any jealousy around celebrating one or the other. I can imagine we’ll do something to involve Sophia in my birthday too — and to be honest, I’d quite like to share it with her anyway.

I’m looking forward to what my year has in store. I’m excited about a couple of trips we have planned, and I’m keen to see where my work takes me over the next 12 months.

In my adult life, I’ve had some complicated feelings about birthdays. I think we often put too much hope into the idea of a perfect day, which is so hard to achieve. But if today can serve as a template for how my birthdays will be going forward, I’d be very happy with that. We had cake, some presents, and later we’re getting pizza together. That’s all I need.